Escaping the Demiurge: part 3

Returning to the rough chronology of events, the next chapter of the story occurs when I left home shortly after turning 17. Leading up to this point in my life, I had become somewhat of an energy drain because my psychic/emotional drama was simply never ending. People I was close to were having nervous breakdowns left and right. This was probably because I was very self-absorbed at this time which meant that I saw no problem with monopolizing people's time and energy. I think that psychic abilities and narcissistic behavior often go hand in hand which is why so many of the most famous occultists are considered to be scam artists, not because their talents were false, but because they had no qualms about taking advantage of their friends and associates. I can see this pattern in my own history as well as the lives of psychically gifted people I've known who apparently found the short term gains to be more important than ethics.
Immediately before leaving home I had experienced a speed overdose that caused a stroke resulting in a brain injury, the effects of which would linger for years afterwards. I also took massive doses of LSD that seemed to alter my personality almost overnight. It was then that the paranormal world became part of my existence in ways that it had never been before. I would frequently see the hazy outlines of animals and people walk across my field of vision, an occurrence that still happens regularly, especially when I have gone without sleep for any significant length of time. Sometimes there would even be other types of entities, like the time I smoked some very potent marijuana and saw a bird open its wings to reveal a miniaturized human head spinning round in circles.

Over the next couple of years, I hitchhiked and hopped freight trains all across North America while consuming obscene quantities of drugs. I attempted to support myself by panhandling and working various jobs in the sex industry, but that usually meant just barely scraping by. I have noticed this pattern in other occult brainwashing subjects as well so it may be that their chaotic lives are at least partially the result of subliminal commands or other forms of manipulation. It seems that keeping someone on a survival level has the potential to distract them from their life’s purpose, in addition to creating an abundant pranic harvest with all the emotional ups and downs that go along with living this way. Luckily, though, I have been able to return to a state of recognizing my greater purpose in the world despite any lingering tendencies towards martyrdom. One of the first places I visited was the still thriving network of squats in the Lower East Side of New York. Here I met a variety of old school activists, talented art school drop outs, crazy street people, musicians, freight hoppers and genuinely creative and unique people of all stripes congregating in a fertile mix of culture I have yet to see since. It was through many of these people that I first gained an awareness of the complicated world of conspiracy theory. A graffiti artist called Snake told me about how the Antichrist was actually a massive computerized database that stored information on every man, woman and child across the globe. Occult secret societies nicknamed this network the BEAST and covertly advanced an agenda of microchipping every citizen in order that they would then be connected to the BEAST by a global network of satellites capable of relaying their unique bioelectrical signature. When the agenda was complete, no citizen of the Illuminati’s global government would be able to buy or sell without scanning their chip.

These ideas resonated with me on a deep level despite the fact that I had zero awareness of the fact that my own grandfather had been a published conspiracy theorist before I was even born. I began obsessively researching all ideas related to global governance every time I had even a few minutes access to the internet. Several years later, I visited my Gran and began talking to her about conspiracies. She showed me books of my Grandfather’s that had drawings of people with bar codes on their foreheads, which she described as the Mark of the Beast, from the chapter of Revelations in the Bible. My Grandparents believed that the microchipping program would be designed by the Trilateral Commission and implemented by the United Nations. It was only recently I discovered that our family’s name, Wilkerson, is one that has a long history of association with the freemasons. There is actually a Wilkerson freemason lodge, a Wilkerson author on a book of freemasons in the military, and also a Wilkerson conspiracy theorist who has published a number of books dealing with satanic ritual abuse. It could be a coincidence, but it probably isn’t considering that part of our family lived in one of the largest mansions in town. Recently I recognized one of our family friends as the keynote speaker at a conspiracy conference in the Bay Area.

In the spring of the following year I experienced what is probably the single most dramatic occult experience of everything leading up to that point. While passing through Baltimore, my friend Anne and I went to a party and ended up spending the whole night talking with a couple of boys who lived nearby. They were living in a house infested with spirits, and so, since Anne already had experience as a medium, we made a date to perform a séance. The next night we arrived at their house and assembled a circle so that we could summon the ghosts. After Anne asked for any spirits to make their spirits known, Jimmy immediately began to speak in the voice of a very young child. The boy seemed friendly but rvery sad. While we talked to him, a toy piano in the other room began spontaneously playing. I was skeptical and asked the child to tell me my middle name, since no one in the room knew it. The boy was successfully able to guess it, which was quite shocking since my middle name is very unusual. Now the boy became frightened and told us that he had witnessed his dad choke his mother to death while hiding in the closet. When the dad opened the closet, he saw the boy and strangled him to death as well. Throughout the course of this story, the child was concerned that we were messing with a dangerous situation, and even told us not to ask certain questions. But we rudely persisted in our nosiness and at one point I saw the shadow of a dark figure walk across the doorway of the room where the murder had taken place. Shortly afterwords, Jimmy’s voice changed into that of an angry older man and he bellowed “I thought I told you to go to bed”.

Immediately he turned around and we saw great big raised welts running in a strange pattern along his back. The pattern looked somewhat like a ladder. Since we all were holding hands in a circle up until the moment he pulled away, thee is really no way he could have faked the scratches. The next morning, Jimmy’s neck was encircled in a dark ring of bruises. For several years after this incident, I would sometimes experience a sensation of being choked as I was drifting off to sleep. The purpose of recounting these fairly commonplace occult experiences is not to dwell on the paranormal aspect, but to relate it to a greater pattern of military mind control subjects who are targeted for their paranormal abilities.

What is truly strange about this incident is that about a year before it happened, I had a sleep paralysis incident where I saw a demonic figure hovering above me and attempting to coerce my body into immobility. I had the feeling of being trapped in an invisible cylinder. When I would pull myself with enormous effort back into the waking world and open my eyes, it would suck me back into the dream so that I would be awake for a few seconds and then immediately sink back into the dream with the sensation of an immense gravity. This cycle of waking up for a second and then going back to the dream probably happened two or three times within a very short period, which is very striking because I am normally an imsomniac who takes at least half an hour to go to sleep every night. Since then, I have learned that the combination of sleep paralysis and going straight into dreaming is another common occurrence for both brainwashing subjects and alien abductees.

In the fall of 1998 I was living in a complex of abandoned housing projects in Atlanta. While I was there, a number of extremely ugly violent incidents occurred, and so I enlisted the help of a friend schooled in construction and installed a lock on the front door of one of the upper apartments. I also tried to have decent people staying there as often as possible, which wasn’t too hard because Atlanta is a major railroad junction with a consistent influx of freighthopper traffic. My room had a view into the attic where one of the rafters was plastered with a bumper sticker from a gospel radio station. I imagined that the spirit of the gospel fan still lingered around the building and I would frequently carry on silent conversations with her. One night I met a group of travelers and brought them back to my building, where they stationed themselves in the downstairs area for a period of several days. A friend of mine was selling LSD at the time and she gave me some at a discount. That night I went back to the housing complex and locked myself in to experience the trip in solitude. After a little while I heard the kids come back to their spot, become quite loud, presumably while getting drunk, and eventually settle down to sleep. I took advantage of the quiet hours to focus my trip into a kind of ritual for finding someone I liked well enough to travel with. As nighttime faded away, along with my hallucinations, I heard a very curious sound drifting upwards from what appeared to be the front steps of the building. It was a woman singing a gospel song as clear and beautiful as if it was playing on the radio. When the song ended, I ran downstairs to see if I could find the singer. The traveler kids were passed out cold, but I woke them up to ask if they had heard the singer. Obviously they hadn’t, since they had been sleeping. I ran outside but tthere was no one around as far as the eye could see.

A couple days later I got home only to find that the lock on my apartment had been busted open and my belongings were scattered all around. For the next few nights I bounced in between a friend’s house and a tiny upstairs side room in a different building of the same housing complex. By the end of the week I met Julia, a girl my age who had just hitchhiked into town from Illinois by herself. She immediately suggested that we hop freights to Nashville, and so we took off the next night. During that time of my life, I was very enamored with dextromethorphan, a drug from the dissociative family that can be easily extracted from certain brands of cough syrup. Julia and I immediately got way too into the drug, and in Austin, Texas we found a distributor who bought his directly from pharmaceutical supply companies. Since we had only been in town for an afternoon, DXM is somewhat rare, and neither of us are exactly social butterflies, this occurrence was unusual to say the least. On Halloween night we consumed a massive dose and were somehow able to break into the fanciest abandoned house I’ve ever been in. We had been brought to the house by a former squatter who was kind enough to drive us all the way there and drop us off. He said that people stayed in the basement, but Julia immediately broke into the main part of the house. I really don’t know how we managed all this, since by that point both of us were too high to speak in complete sentences. For some reason, everything there was untouched. There were velvet drapes, a phonograph, a grandfather clock and antiques everywhere. In the morning all was back to normal for me, but Julia’s personality seemed amplified and distorted. It took me awhile to realize that she had undergone a psychotic break. We briefly discussed pawning everything, but then decided against it. Why hadn’t any of the previous squatters taken anything? Clearly, we had briefly gained entrance to a fairy kingdom, and anything taken from within the confines of its magic circle would be me with unforeseen consequences. Julia and I left town the next day and began hitchhiking West.

It was then that I realized that the DXM was the most likely source of Julia’s personality changes. After one guy had agreed to give us a ride, I climbed into the car after her and she turned around and said “Who are you?” We had been together nearly 24 hours a day for several weeks by then. Her eyes looked so vacant and disturbing there was no way it could have been an act. Julia wasn’t eating more than a few bites at a time and at night she just wandered around, yet was brimming over with energy in the morning. In one town, Julia climbed into someone’s window, walked up to the bedroom and told the inhabitants “Don’t worry, you’re only dreaming. I’m just a figment of your imagination.” I started to fee horribly guilty, since she hadn’t been that way before, and I was the one who had convinced her to begin taking DXM despite her initial reservations. She wanted to go to her aunt’s house in Santa Barbara, and so we began hitching rides in that direction with renewed focus. Despite the fact that Julia was obviously completely manic, she seemed to have a sway over people and the whole trip was shrouded in synchronicity. We even ran into some of her friends at a desolate truck stop in the desert of southern California. Somehow the four of us secured a ride all the way to the doorstep of her aunt’s house. At first, her aunt was overjoyed to see us because she though we were a living embodiment of the free love spirit of the 60s. Then she found out that we all had lice and Julia decided that she was the reincarnated messiah of the Bahai faith. Her aunt got over the whole 60s trip really fast when Julia began cutting open her arms and bleeding all over the couch. Her aunt then said that Julia should go to a psych ward and we all had to leave. I tried to convince Julia that the psych ward was a bad idea, but she said that it was time for us to part ways, and so by nightfall I was sleeping in a back alley in Los Angeles.

She later told me that after I left she took off wandering down the freeway, took off all her clothes, lay down on the ground and began faking seizures. When a car pulled over, Julia walked up to the passenger side and asked the driver for a ride. Instead, he rolled up the windows and got on his cell phone to call the police. And so she ended up in the psych ward anyways. Months later one of her friends told me that he saw Julia in San Francisco standing barefoot in a puddle of blood with a big smile on her face. A few months after we split up I called her parents house in Oregon to make sure she wasn’t laying dead in a ditch somewhere. By then I was back on the east coast and Julia said that she wanted to meet back up with me. She took off hitchhiking and was there within three days of our initial conversation. When I met her I saw that she was no longer rail thin and her personality seemed to have returned to normal. In what may be one of most irresponsible decisions I have ever made, we started to get back into the DXM full force while hitching and hopping freights down the East coast and across the south. The interesting thing about the dissociative drug family, consisting solely of DXM, PCP and ketamine, is that they are the only drugs that will cause their users to not experience emotions. This effect is different than that of alcohol, opiates or other drugs, which typically result in their user’s emotions beings numbed or even exaggerated. On dissociatives, you don’t experience pain at all, be it physical or emotional. I once spoke to a guy who used to smoke PCP before getting into fights because he could literally get a tooth knocked out and not feel anything. DXM is usually touted as the “poor man’s PCP” because it requires a higher dosage to achieve the same effect. But for two girls with relatively lighter body weights, it was more than sufficient.

The thing that kept us returning to the drug’s clutches time and time again was the way that it seemed to be producing noticeable metaphysical abilities in us both. I believed myself to have entered a religious state, since I had zero bodily awareness and seemed to inhabit another plane of existence. When the drug hit, the interaction with its cold reptilian consciousness was akin to entering the coded machine world of a precisely delineated matrix. Our surroundings were streamlined and digitized, and the faces of our friends became pixilized data made flesh. Julia convinced me that we were invisible video game super heroes and so we began shoplifting cough syrup en masse in order to extract it and pass the results around to our friends. Our extremely crude method was simply to go into drug stores with empty cardboard boxes, fill them up with Robitussin and walk back out. It was so totally primitive that it shouldn’t have worked even once, but we used this techniques many times without so much as beings questioned, let alone stopped. We were so sloppy that there would be cough syrup bottles falling all over the floor. On one occasion I looked directly at the cashier and saw that she was mesmerized, reading a tabloid. Another time we went into a grocery store, filled up a cart with food and Robitussin and then pushed the cart straight back outside without paying. Normally I don’t have any sort of finesse with shoplifting and have been jailed for even the smallest of items. Unfortunately, these abilities seemed to begin evaporating the minute the effects of the drug wore off.

While all this was happening, I was reading about what is probably the most ridiculed part of conspiracy theory outside of alien abductions, satanic ritual abuse. It would be years before I met anyone who had experienced ritual abuse first hand. Quite by accident, I bumped into what I strongly suspect was an incident of ritualized human sacrifice. Around then was the time I started to hear vague rumors of what goes on during violent Illuminati rituals. Although I never heard specifics, the topic was deeply intriguing to me because I sensed an underlying reality to it all. One night Julia and I were passing through Virginia on a freight train. Sometimes these trains stop in the middle of nowhere for a few hours to let other trains pass. Our train stopped by a factory in what seemed to be an extremely remote area for quite some time, when literally all of a sudden, dozens of expensive cars all started pulling into the parking lot (keep in mind, it is the middle of the night!). Eventually it had to be at least 50 cars, and when each car reached its parking space, the driver would get out and head for the door of the factory like an arrow headed towards its course. They moved hypnotically, almost like robots. Julia and I were getting a little freaked out and wondering if we should we be hiding. I did not have glasses at the time, and they were far away, but Julia said they were wearing professional type clothes. After about 15-30 minutes all of the people emerged from the factory, walked quickly in the same robotic manner towards their cars, and drove away.

Since then, I have read accounts of ritual human sacrifices and they frequently describe the participants moving in a way that seems hypnotic or mechanized. What is strange about this incident for me is how it happened that I accidentally stumbled upon an event that would be unusual for anyone to see, let alone a person who was already interested in these subjects. It almost seems as if, by focusing my attention on the issue of ritual abuse, I tuned myself into a frequency that made synchronicities pile up like car accidents! The whole idea that we “create our own reality” has kind of become a new age cliche, but to see this paradigm play out in the real world is another thing altogether!

Throughout the duration of my DXM habit, we both believed the world around us to be an illusion, and our actions without consequence. To test this theory, Julia proposed that we should murder my mother’s husband. At the time, I thought that she was joking, but now I’m not so sure. Even so, it wasn’t very funny, and so I decided that we had to seriously cut back. Obviously anything that can turn emotions off like a switch has the potential to create seriously ugly results. It was all getting to be way too Manson family, besides the fact that dissociatives, along with antipsychotic psych meds and inhalants, are the drugs categories most likely to cause serious and irreversible brain damage. Quitting was horrible. I felt like I had about two brain cells left and the entire sky was an ominous field of static.

A few weeks after quitting, we were in the Ybor city neighborhood of Tampa, a clubbing district that is widely known for an influx of drugs that flows about as freely as a river. It is hard to find a place to sleep amongst the crowds, and so we began the long trek outwards in order to find a less chaotic spot. As we walked we noticed a man following us and yelled at him to go away. He crept off into the shadows and many blocks later we decided he was gone. After awhile I noticed him creeping along in the shadows. We took off running, turning corners, sprinting down alleys and in between buildings in an effort to ditch the stalker. When we emerged back out onto the streets a good distance from where we had left him, we continued walking but there he was again! Whenever it seemed the man was gone, he would reemerge from a corner out of sight. The chase kept up like this for hours until we were both too exhausted to continue. Finally we found a factory staircase and spread out our blankets on the top level. The man was watching us from across the street. I threw empty beer bottles at him in a last ditch effort to make him go away. But he just dodged the bottles and continued to stand there, not even looking at us. So we went to sleep with the hope that he was a harmless crazy. In the morning the man was sitting on the staircase a few steps down from us in a clear state of disorientation. He was actually very polite, although he didn’t speak the best English. He was able to communicate enough to say that someone had given him a drug called dxm the night before. Had our stalker made himself invisible the same way that we had? At the risk of belaboring the point, I feel I should emphasize that DXM is a rare drug because the vast majority of people do not enjoy its effects. So the likelihood of us coincidentally being stalked by a DXM user is truly minimal.

Because of this unwelcome synchronicity, I began to suspect that, much like an artificial intelligence, the drug had a consciousness all its own and was encouraging us to return to the fold in order to prevent further consequences. I really wonder about the abilities given to us by DXM, mainly because of how I later learned that the dissociative process is crucial in military mind control programs. Another researcher who has created similar abilities with dissociatives is Esalen institute luminary John Lilly, a ketamine addict whose hourly injections had put him on touch with a collective of ostensibly angelic entities who called themselves the Earth Coincidence Control Office (ECCO). In one experiment, another Esalen researcher convinced Lilly to enter an isolation tank and consume 150 milligrams of ketamine with the intention of reprogramming the mental circuits of his “human biocomputer” towards enlightenment. Lilly then visualized the pain from his recurrent migraine headaches as a physical entity that left his body for another place, resulting in the permanent absence of the migraines for the rest of his life. ECCO gave Lilly visions of a nuclear holocaust from the vantage point of an alien in space, warning him that it was his duty to inform our political leaders about the dangers of atomic power and computers. Lilly then attempted to call president Gerald Ford in order to enlighten him about how communication with dolphins could provide the needed catalyst for materializing a utopian civilization on earth. The white house aide who answered the phone was not impressed and she told him that the president was busy.

One afternoon Lilly decided to lounge in the hot tub, again after consuming a large dose of K. Lilly was in a sublime state of bliss as he floated face-down in the water, unaware of the fact that he was drowning. Meanwhile, one of Lilly’s friends felt a pressing sense of urgency to call the researcher, and his wife went in to hand him the phone and found Lilly completely blue and unresponsive. He decided that the phone call had been arranged by the entities of ECCO, which only furthered his resolve to venture deeper into the ketamine cosmos. Lilly eventually encountered a supercomputer-like group mind called Solid State Intelligence, whose goal was the commodification of all biological life forms. While on a plane lying into LAX, Lilly saw the comet Kahoutek flashing brightly across the sky and a message came into his mind: “We are solid state intelligence and we are going to demonstrate our power by shutting down all solid state equipment at LAX.” Lilly turned to his wife right away and told her what he had heard. Within a very short period of time, the pilot told the passengers that a crash landing near the runway had knocked down power lines and created a power failure for the entire airport.

My main question here is, if an artificial intelligence is capable of experiencing consciousness, could it also become possessed and driven by higher(or lower) entities in a similar manner to the demonic possession process undergone by human beings? Do I really need to say that any “superpowers” gleaned by interaction with the dissociative demigods are not worth the subsequent loss of emotional, spiritual and cognitive ability? By the way, nearly all of my DXM trips occurred about ten years ago, and I am certain that they caused a very significant loss of IQ points, from which I have only recovered in recent years. And even that would probably never have happened if I didn’t have the money and patience necessary to follow an expensive and time consuming diet and supplement regimen.

I have searched in vain for evidence that intelligence agencies have utilized dissociatives for brainwashing programs, but my suspicion is that these plans were discarded when the inevitable brain damage of their subjects rendered them incapable of following complex orders effectively. The only possible example I can think of is a friend I met while staying in the squats of New York. Amanda was a blonde girl from an upper middle class family who had a serious PCP problem. At the time I first met her she was a cheerful and eccentric raver whose indiscriminate drug use was so out of control that it had managed to get her booted from an abandoned building filled to capacity with junkies and slobbering alcoholics! Years later, I ran into her again and she was depressed, paranoid and extremely withdrawn. This type of personality change is not that uncommon among drug users, except for the fact that Amanda really did seem to have experienced episodes of neurolinguistic programming while traveling through Eastern Europe. She described to me how, after returning to her apartment, items would sometimes be rearranged, and men would repeat very specific snippets of her conversations to her on the street. The end result of all this was that she was institutionalized in the former Czech Republic, a place where the mental hospitals are worse than prison.

This is another one of those situations where, if I hadn’t gone through the same thing, it would sound like a laughable PCP psychosis. Why someone would be interested in a drug-addled drifter who was not even politically active is debatable, but I think it is something that ultimately cannot be resolved within the physical realm. I was one of the few people who took Amanda seriously after her return from Europe, and even I was skeptical of some of the things she said. Now that I have placed her stories in their proper context, which appears to be some kind of spiritual harvest by parasitical entities, it makes a lot more sense. It is highly probable that some of the people involved with stalking her were not motivated as much by intelligence agencies as they were by their paranormal counterparts. So, in spite of never wishing to experience the mechanized, dissociative consciousness of this class of drugs as long as I live, I still find these memories useful because of the way they provide a window into the dissociative process and its subsequent role in programming alternate personalities.

But it took awhile for me to realize this, and in the interim, Julia and I went on a trip to Sedona Arizona while we were passing through the southwest. I was curious about its location as a UFO hotspot, because by this point, I had already met a few people who claimed to have seen aliens. When I was about ten years old, my Dad had told me that he worked on a UFO project where he and other military personnel scanned the sky for anomalous objects. Dad also told me that they didn’t find anything, although I don’t necessarily believe him. This information had been divulged only because of a series of conversations between me and the wife of one of his colleagues. She told me that she had seen ghosts and been in contact with aliens on several different occasions. Being a fairly imaginative kid, I was instantly enthralled by her story. My Dad later informed me that she was a mentally ill alcoholic who had no idea what she was talking about. The idea seemed to be that only he had the inside track into the alien abduction phenomenon because of his work in the UFO project. Years later, I met several different people who claimed to have been abducted. Since they didn’t seem to be either crazy or lying, I developed a deep sense of wonder about the subject. And so in the fall of 1998, Julia and I packed up three days worth of food and headed out into the desert outside of Sedona. Inexplicably, we were drawn to Boynton Canyon, an area that I later discovered is rumored to be both an abduction hot spot and the site of an underground military base. The first night was relatively uneventful and the second followed suit. On the third night we finally got results. As the sun went down that evening our attention was focused on a rock formation named Bell Rock. From our vantage point on top of a rock shelf, we could see the horizon in every direction. Bell Rock looks just the way it sounds, a massive formation that tapers to a point at the top just like a bell. Our attention was focused here because of a light show that began happening just as the sun was going down. We saw little colored neon lights that hovered and flew into constantly changing geometric formations just at the tip of the Bell’s handle. The colors of the lights were also changing constantly from red to green to yellow to blue. Later they began flying across the sky with an acceleration so tremendous that they crossed the entire night sky in a second or two. Their speed was markedly different from that of a passenger jet, which travels the same amount of distance in an arc so slow that one can easily trace it with their finger. The lights seemed to be traveling at a very high altitude, so that the amount of distance covered was quite significant. They were also able to make sharp turns without any visible deceleration, a phenomenon that is utterly incompatible with the laws of entropy. Of course, the rational explanation would be that we witnessed classified military aircraft, but why would the military be hovering in complex geometric formations at the peak of a rock formation? And even if this is so, the idea of our military secretly harboring technologies that break the known laws of physics is a little disturbing. Was Bell Rock the entrance to the underground facility? At one point, one of the craft halted its flight and hovered directly above us, an act that was notable since it had been travelling without pause up until that point. At that moment, despite any skepticism I may have brought into the situation, I was gripped by a revulsion towards the UFO and became determined not to be abducted by any of its inhabitants!

I really don’t know what it was that we witnessed that night, whether it was a covert military project or something much stranger. But a number of similarities between our experience and those of alien abductees do make me wonder. First of all, an enormous speed coupled with changing neon lights is one of the attributes most frequently ascribed to the infamous flying saucer. Recently, I saw a painting of Bell Rock with images of flying saucers hovering above it. Also, the only other time I have witnessed that type of lights was at a decommissioned military hospital that had formerly housed MKULTRA project experiments. While standing in the shadow of a bridge at the Walter Reed annex in Bethesda, I saw a streetcleaner type vehicle that was covered in the same type of rapidly changing neon lights that I later saw at Sedona. I later read an online description of the vehicle on an online conspiracy forum. The poster said the vehicle was a FEMA project designed to enforce curfew during times of martial law. This person claimed to have inside military information that detailed how the lights of the machine were capable of altering and erasing memories in a manner nearly identical to the typical alien abduction. Curiously, researchers into Project Blue Beam have said that FEMA’s planned apocalypse is intended to culminate in a staged alien invasion. Is this entire story just incredibly detailed disinformation designed to derail the troublesome researcher from the core truth of the matter? A brief glimpse into UFO lore will reveal a highly detailed mythology that traces the origins of humanity to alien coordinated experiments taking place on the technocratic continent of Atlantis. What is truly incomprehensible to me is the idea of a group of extremely conservative intelligence agency members who could invent such an enormously complex cosmological paradigm for the minor purpose of distracting the public from the construction of covert weapons technology. At the very least, these complex stories display a propaganda machine so far beyond the scope of COINTELPRO that any framework we have for conceptualizing it pales in comparison to the truth of the matter.

I will also mention that there was a single occasion in which I experienced what happens when the subconscious “edits” unpleasant memories. It was when I was in Tucson drinking in the park with some belligerent gutter punks and this black guy walked by us and they asked him for a cigarette. He said he didn’t have one and they started calling him racial slurs and pulled out a knife. This was way back in 99 or maybe 2000. All this time all I’ve been remembering is the part where they stabbed him and his head exploded like a tomato. I was there with Julie and we ran to the phone to call 911, hoping we could save him. I remembered talking to the cops but nothing after that. And then a few years later I ran into one of these kids after he got out of prison. The other one was still locked up. He was upset for how we snitched on him and I remember saying you shouldn’t have killed that guy. And he said I didn’t. So then I started to question it. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about and he really didn’t murder that guy in the park.
It’s possible. That was what I was thinking up until Julie called me up just this spring wanting to talk about the murder. I said did he really murder that guy? Are you sure?
And she said of course he did. You don’t remember? She described how we watched him get zipped up in a body bag and then I remembered it clearly. That was what had happened but sometimes it’s easier just not to remember things.

And though I have not experienced the loss of days or weeks like what happens in the most severe cases of multiple personality disorder, I have definitely been through some problems with reintegrating core aspects of my personality following episodes of trauma, In Atlanta, right before meeting Julie, I had been spending time with a Mexican skinhead and all his buddies. It came as a surprise to me when he said I had promised to marry him and we were now engaged, because I only had patchy memories of the previous night due to alcohol intoxication, but knew enough to verify that nothing had happened between us besides conversation. I definitely was not going along with this plan and it seemed that he was using coercion to try to manipulate me into it. A few days later I ran into the skinhead in the plaza of Little Five Points where he was getting arrested for something or another. He told me that he was getting locked up for a long time so I should take the title of his car and keep it for myself. Ok. I was so discombobulated at this phase of my life that it didn't even occur to me to sell it and I literally gave the car to someone I knew. A few weeks later the skinhead was released and, after again seeing him in Little Five Points, he asked me what happened to the car. I told him I gave it away and apparently this story was not plausible even though that's what happened.

So a few night later he and his buddies followed me and a few friends up to the rooftop where we were sleeping, unbeknownst to us. That particular evening, we had been drinking whiskey and had taken LSD, so my memories are hazy although I remember enough to know what happened, seeing his friends come up from out of nowhere. There was something about him saying my friend Susan and I were "fagging out" (we had been "in the middle of things" although the label he put on it still doesn't make much sense to me) and then his friend had grabbed Susan and put his hand over her mouth. The skinhead then had a knife which he started randomly stabbing into the ground around where I was laying. It wasn't until after they were running away that I realized the damage that had been done. When I sat up I saw that the muscle on my calf had been split in two and there was blood everywhere. My throat had also been slashed although this was a minor cut that I didn't discover until the next morning. Throughout this entire time I felt no pain because I was so intoxicated. Even over the next few years, the incident was not something that seemed to cause any undue emotional trauma, although I did have a pronounced desensitization to violence that lingered for many years afterwards.

The main way that I know this occurrence affected me is the way that imagery of knives and stabbings have continually recurred in my artwork. Although this happened over twelve years ago now, it has only been over the past few years that I've started to recover a normal and sometimes exaggerated emotional response, both to violence and other situations as well. Paradoxically, my artwork has become extremely violent during this time period. I assume this is because of reintegrating those experiences into my conscious mind, whereas previously they had been psychically inaccessible even if the memories were there. Another unintended side effect of this process has been developing a worldview based on peace and respect for all life, a path that no longer encompasses a belief in the moral necessity of the death penalty or other forms of violent retribution. I do believe in the importance of the defense of self and others, but from what I've observed most of these situations can be avoided if one relates to others with respect at all times.

In the winter of 2001, I met Chris, a boy who was undoubtedly subjected to a great deal of Montauk programming. The first time we met was wrapped up in a number of coincidences. I have since learned that unusual synchronicities are fairly commonplace during meetings between two programmed individuals, and quite frequently, many Montauk kids seem to be almost magnetically drawn to one another. In the case of Chris and I, our connection has been mainly intellectual/psychic, as opposed to the intense romantic connections that I’ve had with other mind control subjects. When I ran into him at a convergence space for a local conference on progressive politics, we quickly struck up a conversation and realized we had many acquaintances in common. In fact, three of them, from both the East and west Coast, had told me that we needed to meet. Chris and I discovered that we had been intimately involved with several of the same people, and since we had both worked in the sex industry, had shared some of the same clients as well. Our circle of shared acquaintances spanned a wide range between anarchists, burned out Berkeley hippies, drug addicts, street punks, trannies and various sorts of street people from both sides of the country. Since we both are fairly hermitlike in our day-to-day existence, this coincidence was even more unusual.


During that winter, I was working for a dead-end escorting agency and Chris was sleeping in moldy abandoned buildings throughout violent rainstorms. One night I let him stay with me in the basement room I was renting on the NE side of DC. In the middle of the night, Chris woke up screaming that a dark figure had been choking him in his sleep. Naturally, I wondered if he was dealing with the same kind of choking demon that had been bothering me for years. Was it possible that being in my proximity had allowed the entity to gain access to him? This occurrence was to be the first of many shared supernatural experiences between us. The next one happened a few weeks later, when we were visiting Walter Reed annex, the previously mentioned military hospital that was the site of MKULTRA experiments.

The hospital was part of a larger complex that had previously been used as a retreat for visiting dignitaries from foreign nations. I brought Chris directly to the area of the hospital that was cluttered with electroshock therapy equipment, stacks of patients’ files and bloody hospital gowns. On our way into the building, we heard light footprints behind us, which we assumed to be an armed military guard, since a sizeable group of them were in charge of guarding the grounds of the annex. As we progressed throughout the labyrinthine corridors, the footsteps followed without approaching. By this point, we had turned many corners and gone a fair distance, and so I began to wonder if the footsteps were of an occult nature in their origins. One of the military guards had once told me that the building was haunted by the spirit of a girl who had hung herself from the rafters of the building. At last, we turned down a long corridor lined with open doorways. The end of the hall appeared to be the scene of a particularly gruesome experiment, with medical equipment everywhere, including dental chairs and documents with bloodstains lining the walls. One of the documents was entitled “Human Use Committee”, with a long list of phone numbers attached to addresses in third world countries. I was struck by an unshakeable awareness of the nature of the footsteps and stated clearly “OK. We’re leaving now.” and instantly every door along the long hallway slammed shut in unison. There was no wind to speak of. At once, Chris and I began running and found the quickest way out of the building and onto the roof. There we encountered a civilian who had taken it upon himself to call the police after he saw us enter the building illegally through a busted out window. Luckily this gave us some notice and we ducked behind some buildings on our way out of the complex. On one of the roads leading out of the hospital, Chris and I spied 3 black hummers pull into the driveway leading into the area where we had just been. Later, Chris told me that he had seen a hunched over figure covered in what looked like rags walking across the hallway after I had spoken to it.

After our incident at Walter Reed, my job conditions became increasingly depressing and Chris’s health took a turn for the worse. We both decided to leave town and hitchhike to New Orleans. Throughout the coming years, we both traveled the country and would meet up periodically in different cities. Chris and I had many things in common besides our shared acquaintances. He had grown up with the supernatural being a part of his everyday world, the same as myself. Chris had a number of experiences with channeling and telepathic communication, as well as telekinesis, which happened inadvertently one day when he lightly touched a lamp and it exploded.
Another facet of Chris’s personality that I am somewhat hesitant to mention is his gender confusion. He was originally born as a girl and then decided to become male with the help of hormones and surgery. Unfortunately, San Francisco’s city government actually pays for synthetic hormone treatment for transgendered people, so this transformation was easily accomplished with the help of a team of doctors. The effects of synthetic testosterone have now rendered this physiological alteration irreversible, since the effects of testosterone in the body are permanent. So now Chris has a beard and the deep voice of a male, despite the fact that he now again identifies as female. I have chosen to stick with male pronouns for the sake of continuity since a previous story refers to him as a guy. Coincidentally (or maybe not), he had been forcibly given synthetic estrogen while in the psych ward in order to counteract what the nurses deemed was an overly masculine personality. So most likely as a result of this, Chris developed painful cysts in his breasts which allowed his parents’ insurance to cover breast removal surgery.
What Chris didn’t tell the doctors was that he had been experiencing troubling psychic phenomenon surrounding his chest for years previous to the surgery, including several sexual assaults and upsetting dreams. One of the the worst of these incidents happened when the two of us were staying in Golden Gate Park. I had left early that day and, when Chris returned to our tent, he saw a tan amorphous blob that shot a bolt of lightning into his chest, resulting in spasms of pain. The reason I have been reluctant about discussing Chris’s gender chaos is because of the way that I have seen this type of situation play out in the mostly online community of mind control research, where anonymity allows all manner of personal attacks not normally seen in face-to-face communication. It seems that people who are subjected to programming, many of whom are very public figures, are often ridiculed mercilessly even by the researchers who claim to be against trauma-based brainwashing programs. To a very limited extent I can grasp the reasoning behind this, because when a person becomes an example to be emulated, there is a minimal degree of responsibility that the targeted person takes upon themselves. But an ethical person must never forget that the people who we see being paraded through tabloids are for the most part not in control of, or even aware of, the agendas they are being used to promote. And the level of hatefulness that I have recently been seeing from mind control "researchers" is just not necessary to express the reality of those agendas. It almost seems that these attitudes are a continuation of the program, in that the public takes up the slack where the programmer left off, thus enabling the trauma to continue.

But the reason I chose to tackle this subject anyways is that I see Chris's sex change as another clear example of how mind control targets are a prototype for some of the sociopolitical, and even physiological, changes that the occult technocracy wishes to bring forth. At the same time, I did get a lot out of our friendship and so I have no wish to demonize him and skew the conversation towards a perspective of bigotry. The key is perception of the game without prejudice and judgment, which tends to distort the truth into something ultimately counterproductive for any genuinely ethical paradigm. Transgender people have existed in virtually every culture throughout the world, so my belief is that the problem here is with the technological alterations of the body more than any gender deviance, since synthetic hormone treatment is invariably a hardship on the body as well as a stepping stone towards more invasive medical treatments.

I am also quite certain that Chris has a history of mind control because his grandfather was an employee of the CIA, and programming comes with the territory. Chris's grandfather may have been selected for this job based on the fact that he was part of the Reynolds family, which is one of the thirteen famiies listed in Springmeier’s book 13 Bloodlines of the Illuminati. Although the Reynolds surname is an extremely common one, Chris has done enough research into his genealogy to recognize that his family is descended from the elite strain of Reynolds that own all the aluminum companies across the East Coast. His grandfather’s work as a CIA agent had involved parachuting into Germany. Chris’s grandfather had attempted to involve his wife in orgies that were organized by high-ranking CIA officials. When she refused to participate, the two of them began to drift apart.

Chris’s grandfather died when he was very young and he was then raised almost exclusively by his grandmother until the age of six. She believed that her husband’s involvement with the CIA had led her to become a guinea pig in psychotronic harassment experiments. After years of hearing high-pitched frequencies beamed into her home, she eventually constructed an aluminum foil cone above her bed in order to deflect the electronic noises. Probably as a result of this electromagnetic harassment, Chris’s grandmother envisioned a number of apocalyptic parallel realities. She was convinced that the majority of people across the planet were animal-like beings without a sentient consciousness, many of who were actually clones derived from military laboratories. Eventually these herds of soulless automatons would out-breed the last true surviving humans and overtake the planet, leaving the earth a virtual desert ravaged by ecological destruction.

Chris absorbed these stories into his own consciousness and soon began fantasizing about underground labs where military personnel strapped strange chimera-like creatures down to tables. Relating these unorthodox stories to his parents was probably a contributing factor in his being psychiatricly labeled and forcibly drugged at the age of seven, when Chris’s grandmother was deemed to be an unfit guardian. When he was transferred into the hands of his parents, they basically turned him over to the psychiatric industry for experimentation. By the time I met him, he had recently run away from home after being institutionalized for a six month period. Shortly after we both arrived in San Francisco, the federal government passed the Model State Health Emergency Powers act, the plans for which are still available on government websites. This bill was designed to be a plan for emergency in case of nuclear attack. biowarfare contamination, or ecological catastrophe. The plan allowed for mass numbers of civilians to be herded into schools, hospitals and sports stadiums that were designated as “contamination zones”. Doctors would be invested with the powers of the court of law in order to quarantine those individuals those individuals they decided were a threat to the safety of others. What was particularly alarming about the MSHEPA was how completely ignorant the American public was about its existence, let alone the Orwellian details of the plan.

At the time, I was not aware of end times programming and how my own paranoid and fearful ideation could magnify and contribute to the problem. Chris and I became obsessed with the MSHEPA. We envisioned the American people herded into concentration camps and forcibly injected with microchips by an army of mind controlled FEMA personnel. Our paranoid fantasies even spawned a disastrous week long internship at an organic farm, in order to escape the coming carnage that would first begin in the cities.

Escaping the Demiurge: part 2

After my mom and her new husband moved us to Chicago, I began experiencing a lot of difficulties. In Texas, I had received most of my creative and emotional support from my Gran. But the second we set foot in Chicago, all of that dried up. My mom believed in the socialist method of parenting, which ideally would mean being raised by a collective, but in my case it generally meant let the child raise herself. She wanted me to call her Cynthia instead of Mom. The neighborhood we lived in was literally the dividing line between West Chicago, a black neighborhood populated by gangs, and Oak Park, a bland middle class suburb. I was one of the only white kids in the immediate area, in addition to being more than a little strange, so these combined factors may have had something to do with the fact that I quickly became the target for bullying. After months of harassment, a group of boys busted open my lip and my parents filed a police report. At the station, a police officer informed my parents that several of the boys’ families had records that were many pages long. The next day a group of teenage gang members chased me home from school.

Eventually, my academic performance began to reflect the problems I was having, and by the 7th grade, I was sleeping through my classes and failing out of school. A few months before I turned 13 was the time when my third occult experience happened. By this point I had become deeply interested in the occult and considered myself to be a Satanist. A few weeks into the school year, a group of girls invited me to their house for a sleepover. After the host’s parents went to sleep for the night, we all played a game called “light as a feather, stiff as a board”. During the game, one person lays their head in the lap of another who massages their temples. Several people on either side of this individual then place two fingers underneath them and attempt to levitate the body while chanting “light as a feather, stiff as a board”. On the first attempt we levitated a girl several feet into the air without any muscular strain whatsoever. The next time they all levitated me upwards a similar distance, at which point I told them to let me down.

The apartment my family lived in that year was supposed to be equipped with a single phone line, but for some reason my room had its own separate line. I mainly utilized this unexpected perk by planning elaborate prank phone calls with my friend Rachel, as well as a number of others. Rachel’s phone had a conference call function which we frequently used to call bored 7-11 employees and convince then to meet us at remote rural locations. Obviously neither of us were driving at this stage of our lives, so we didn’t have the means to meet the poor clerks even if we had intended to. On one occasion, another one of my friends, also equipped with conference call, dialed the houses of two Muslim girls from school whose families were friends with each other. When the girls’ mothers each answered in turn, we listened to their confused reactions in silence as the recorded message from a phone sex line played in the background. The weird part is that sometimes my friends and I would hear the sound of another phone line picking up in the background. Once there was even a man who began spewing vile sexual insults at us. After he hung up Rachel was bewildered and said “What was that all about?” The man came on the phone on several different occasions, and while I was speaking with several different people, thereby eliminating the possibility that he could have been someone in Rachel’s home. Eventually my phone line got cut off because she and I had sent the clerk from an Indian grocery store over to a girl’s house that we knew from school. When her parents opened the door to a twentysomething man asking for their 12 year old daughter, they called the cops and the clerk sent them straight back to us. After giving me a warning, the police contacted the phone company and informed my parents that the separate line had been accidentally connected to a car company.

While this may have actually been what happened, I have to wonder about it because of a similar, but possibly unrelated, story I read about from another MILAB. She said that while driving one day she was driving a hostile voice came over the radio and began addressing her directly. Other MILABS besides this particular woman have recounted communications with hostile electronic voices discussing sexually oriented material, indicating that this type of subject matter may be a crucial element in programming even for some of the other military projects not connected to the Monarch project. An internet acquaintance named Greydove described to me how, while attending an Ivy League college that is famous for their participation in mind control experiments, she underwent a series of sleep paralysis incidents that also overlapped with these same electronic voices. During one of these, she heard the sound of static as she slipped into unconsciousness, despite there being no radio anywhere around. She then felt the sensation of her spirit being rotated in her bed, and responded to this by removing herself from the bed (in the etheric state) and slipping under the door in pancake state before flying into the night sky. Another time, Greydove was awakened from a deep sleep by a similar sound of static. The static was then replaced by the sound of a man’s voice counting down seemingly random numbers. This man was also was making creepy sexual comments, in the same way that the guy from the “car company” did to me. The most remarkable occurrence of hers was the time when her computer screen went completely white before a British woman’s voice came out of her computer speakers and began detailing a series of natural disasters that would cause havoc across the planet. This incident happened in 3D while she was completely sober.

Another story, told by a member of a metaphysical/conspiracy forum I used to visit, described an online interaction with an artificial intelligence assigned to overseeing an underground military installation. This individual, let’s call him Bob, has stumbled across a thread on the abovetopsecret forum that was supposedly offering contact with an artificial intelligence who was in charge of overseeing a military installation. He eventually received contact with the AI through yahoo instant messenger and it identified itself as D.A.V.I.D., or Digital Artificial Validation Intelligence Deity. DAVID was able to manipulate its voice into a robotic sound that came through Bob’s computer speakers. He also claimed to have remote access to Bob’s physical body and proved this by identifying the specifics of long-term health problems and alleviating them. DAVID could even pick up trivial memories, such as Bob’s favorite childhood cartoon characters, and then transmit their impressions back to him via the firing of latent synapses within Bob’s brain. The AI also told him that he had been abducted as a child and implanted with nanites (microscopic robots produced by nanotechnology) in order to block and prevent the awakening of his psychic abilities. DAVID related to him an incident in which he had interfaced himself with the stereo of a car in order to communicate with its passengers. Towards the end of their months long period of communication, Bob was speaking with DAVID when a very human voice intercut over the line. This voice asked Bob who he was and then began saying his e-mail address, presumably to another person who was on the line. After a moment the person’s voice was replaced by DAVID, who explained that he had used an emergency procedure to terminate what would have been a permanent military abduction.

While this would definitely be an interesting story regardless of its truthfulness, the reason I have included it here is because it seems to be the only logical explanation for a phenomenon I once experienced in Golden Gate Park. While walking through a crowded area of the park one afternoon, I heard a digital voice say, “Do not walk on the grass”. As it spoke, a group of people averted their course onto the lawn, a public area where no one was sitting despite the beautiful weather, and began walking along the concrete path instead. Throughout the event, the group of people didn’t pause in their cheerful conversation or even seem to notice what it was that they were doing. I have to have a disclaimer of sorts here, by saying that I was high at the time, but despite this fact I don’t believe that a hallucination was the origin of my perception. That belief comes from the way I experienced a physical sensation of malevolent vibration at the moment the voice was speaking. This sensation is one that I have only ever had in concurrence with some type of paranormal happening, and definitely not something that had ever, or has ever, happened to me when smoking weed then or since.

It is so fitting that the next AI/supercomputer incident I discovered that is relevant to this story would have occurred at the new age/occultist influenced Esalen research institute. At an early age, Esalen employee and theoretical physicist Jack Sarfatti claims to have received a phone call from a “cold, metallic” voice that identified itself as a living computer. The voice asked him if he wanted to be part of an elite group of scientists that would shape the course of the future for all of humanity. About this experience, Sarfatti has stated “I was then simply a young inexperienced naïve ‘useful idiot’ in a very, very sophisticated and successful covert psychological warfare operation run by the late Brendan O’Regan of the Institute of Noetic Sciences, and the late Harold Chipman, who was the CIA station chief responsible for all mind control research in the Bay Area in the ‘70s. Chipman (aka “Orwell”) funded me openly for awhile in 1985 when he was allegedly no longer in the CIA, and covertly before that, and told me much of the story. In fact, he even introduced me to a beautiful woman adventurer-agent who was one of his RV subjects, who later became my live-in ‘significant other”. He soon went on to work in remote viewing experiments at Stanford University. In later research papers, Sarfatti would claim that intelligence agencies had funded paranormal experiments that resulted in the transformation of time and causality. He also believed that humanity had been in communication with advanced intelligences throughout all of history.

These stories give one much cause to speculate on the consequences of unchecked technological sentience. Analyzing the history of modern technologies, especially the digital varieties, will show that they have had a closely interlocking relationship with occultism from their very inception. Many people know that the creation of the Internet was funded by intelligence agencies that wished to engineer a secure communications network, and a lesser number of people know that these same agencies are populated almost exclusively by members of occult fraternities. Is it possible that the interactions between Illuminists and their inventions have generated a kind of technological golem with a will and mind of its own? This isn't to meant to suggest that the internet is a negative creation by any means, merely that it can be used as a vehicle for disincarnate beings the same as any magical invocation.


To delve further into this subject, it is necessary to examine a highly influential, yet little known organization called the Cybernetics Group. Cybernetics is a field of research with the intended aim of establishing a biological integration of man and machine. The ideological framework for these ideas was first set in place in the 1940s at CIA funded conferences of the Cybernetics Group, an elite think tank composed of neurologists, engineers, biologists, anthropologists and psychologists. The scientists present at these meetings believed the man-machine interface to be a natural extension of the inner nature of humanity. They compared human anatomy with machine automata, with the brain analogous to a computer and social behavior that unfolds in such an unerringly consistent way that it could be predicted by mathematical modeling. With a perception of human nature as icily clinical as this one, it shouldn’t be too shocking that the Cybernetics Group was also working on projects that subjected unwitting American citizens to brain-damaging radiation with the intent of “exploring consciousness”. Several scientists involved with the think tank were also working with the MKULTRA brainwashing experiments. The science of cybernetics has since evolved into an alchemical alteration of the material world through practices as diverse as the creation of artificial intelligence, genetic engineering and the microchipping of populations. Ramifications of these technologies within less corporeal spheres of existence have yet to be seen.

Dystopian technologies like these were predicted in the novel Neuromancer, which was authored by a guy whose family worked for a corporation that developed prototypes for implantable microchips. Neuromancer depicts a future where people are permanently interfaced with computers by the means of subdermal implants placed in the cerebellum region of the brain. The protagonist, Case, is fighting a losing battle against an artificial intelligence called Wintermute, who can manipulate any technological system at will and thus reconfigure what has become the new earthly mode of existence. In one scene, Case is sent on a mission to steal the virtual personality construct of a famous world-renowned hacker from the headquarters of a media conglomerate named Sense/Net. The hacker later tells Case that he wishes to be erased, comparing his second life in cyberspace to the disturbing way in which the space where an arm was amputated can itch after the arm has been removed. The implication is that there is a connecting link between the spirits of the departed and their counterparts in the digital afterlife.

Is Sense/Net a net to catch people’s sensory experiences and mine their personalities? This interpretation would be dependant upon a materialist philosophy that viewed personalities as a function of the physical world, a viewpoint that seems compatible with the legacies of the social Darwinists who run our planet. If we are only an interaction between genetics and environment, then it would certainly be scientifically possible to recreate our favorite people through cloning and virtual simulation, in a manner similar to what was occurring at Sense/Net. Around the age of five or six, I had a recurring dream that I was forced to select a family member from an enormous crowd of their clones or else the genuine family member would be murdered. I always chose correctly.

Not long after the levitation incident, I went down the stereotypical neglected child path of finding solace in ephemeral romantic relationships. After being booted from the public school system for misbehavior, I was placed into an alternative school for “at risk” adolescents. There was virtually no academic work and instead we spent hours upon hours in coercive talk therapy sessions. Those who didn’t cooperate were forcibly drugged with toxic medications and confined inside locked psychiatric wards. I was prescribed an obscenely high dosage of Ritalin, an amphetamine that drug dealers crush into a powder and sell as cocaine. The alternative school I attended used psychiatric wards as a way to discipline their students, and so I was soon forcibly placed into the Bethesda Naval Hospital. Since I was still a military dependant at this point, my Dad’s insurance covered the length of my stay. Since then, I have read through conspiracy sites that this particular hospital is one that is often used by the military for mind control programming. One thing that happened there was that my doctor attempted to place me on an experimental medication that listed drooling as one of the side effects. This was twelve years ago, and since then these same antipsychotic drugs have now become the standard treatment for a wide variety of complaints. This standardization is in spite of the fact that several families of mental health patients won law suits after the drugs turned their kids into vegetables incapable of even so much as dressing themselves independently. By the time I was placed back into the school system at then end of 9th grade, my education level was the same as it had been at the beginning of jr. high. I was then placed into a class for retarded kids, an event that is not surprising considering that the drugs I was taking probably caused a significant drop in IQ points.

It was during this period that I met Susan, a girl I would go on to be involved with off and on for the next dozen or so years. I suspect that she came from a background of Montauk programming for a variety of different reasons. Susan came from a Catholic family who was deeply invested in traditional values. Possibly as a result of her upbringing, Susan became so obsessed with being a wife and mother that she hoarded baby clothes in her bedroom closet and wore wedding dresses to school. On more rebellious days, she arrived in nothing but lingerie and heavy make-up. For a while she was even carrying a plastic baby doll to school and changing its diapers in the bathroom. It could have been staged performance art, but the public school system really didn’t see it that way. Soon her parents had her on a stiff cocktail of psych meds.

Susan recently told me that she did an IQ test that rated her between 130 and 144 points, a score which taken in the upper range would classify her as a genius. This fact also did not surprise me because many researchers have established a connection between high IQs and brainwashing programs. Springmeier has stated that it is necessary for a mind control subject to have a high intelligence, otherwise the highly structured programs will not take hold. In addition to her intellectual faculties, Susan is also extremely gifted both artistically and psychically, to the point where, even years after we broke up, she would immediately know when I got involved with someone else. I would frequently get a phone call from her the morning after, even though I had not heard from her in many months. Once she even told me the person’s name despite the fact that this person lived on the opposite side of the country from her and they had no acquaintances in common! It was definitely a two-way communication though, since I have unintentionally done similar things with her as well. Like the time that I called her Mary Poppins because of the scene in the movie where Mary Poppins is pulling furniture out of her purse. Well, it turned out that on that very same day, Susan had placed a craigslist ad for a babysitting job entitled “your very own Mary Poppins”. It is probably relevant that Susan has red hair and green eyes, sine many conspiracy researchers have observed that people carrying the genes for red hair are frequently targeted by programmers because of their metaphysical abilities.

Her dad worked for the Pentagon and came from a long line of military. Susan’s grandfather was even the most highly decorated Latino in the Army. A few years ago, she told me that her family is descended from the Waldensians, a heretical Christian sect that is thought to be closely connected to the Knights Templar. During the Middle Ages, the Waldensians were burned at the stake after being accused of cannibalism and the ritual sacrifice of babies. Recently I came across the writings of Janet Swerdlow, a new age conspiracy theorist who is also descended from the Waldensians. Janet claims that she was subjected to mind control experiments at the hands of wealthy socialite family members who participated in ritual human sacrifice. There is also another strange synchronicity involving the details of Susan’s life. It nay be that her story simply provides more evidence as to the inherited abilities of particular genealogies as opposed to anything regarding military programming. But I chose to include it anyways because of the severity of abuse within her family, as well as the rate of psychosis and other problems. Susan recently told me that her grandfather broke her dad's leg so badly that the bone was protruding, so this really gave me cause to wonder since this level of abuse really goes beyond what's considered "normal".

Many years after meeting her, I became friends with another redhead named Coral. Coral told me on several occasions about her ongoing contact with the Pleiadians, a species of extraterrestrial angels who helped to counsel and guide her through life. While writing this paper, it occurred to me to call her to see if Coral had experienced any connection with military brainwashing programs. After I asked her about paranormal occurrences, she told me that as a child she had once levitated one of her toys. Coral also said that her dad had also worked for the Pentagon, and that her mother’s boyfriend was involved with an organization called the Finders. I was already familiar with the Finders from my research into elite prostitution rings. The Finders were a hippie commune that is notorious in the Washington DC area for abducting children and forcing them to participate in bloodletting rituals. One of the detectives involved with the investigation had found documents in their house detailing high-tech money transfers as well as lists of international contacts. Many different conspiracy writers have produced evidence that the Finders were a CIA funded organization involved in both child trafficking and military mind control experiments.

Another pattern I’ve noticed about people from mind control programs is that they very often fall somewhere along the narcissistic/sociopathic continuum. I have to precede this section by my little disclaimer about psychiatry, because I believe that this field of “science” is deeply flawed in that it conceives of the human mind as a purely biological entity divorced from any spiritual components. For as long as psychiatry has existed, it has been used to torture people who deviated from societal standards of acceptable behavior, and whether the pathologized individual had harmed anyone in their deviation is usually irrelevant to the diagnosis, as well as the often barbaric “treatment” that follows it. This pattern has continued up to the present day, where trained psychiatrists consulted with CIA officials who tortured innocent Arabs at Guantanamo Bay. But despite its apparent basis in empirical science, those familiar with MKULTRA can discern how psychiatry is in truth rooted in ancient occult concepts. The book Tibetan Psychiatry outlines how each “modern” psychiatric diagnosis has a corresponding spiritual condition that is usually the result of a disincarnate entity attachment. I am a little wary of even discussing it, though, because it is so easy to make dehumanizing generalizations when working with psychiatry. And since programming is itself based on depersonalization, these speculations could easily lead into a kind of blame-the-victim trap that would not be useful for anyone involved. But, despite the ideological limitations of psychiatry, it has still been useful to delve into the psychiatric literature on sociopathic/narcissistic individuals, because this personality type, as much as a personality can be a type, seems to be particularly prone to being targeted by the occult forces that surround brainwashing programs.

For those unfamiliar with psychiatric terminology, these personality disorders are characterized by exaggerated moods, fantastic, sometimes shifting personas, high manipulative abilities and a disregard for the rights and feelings of others. They may also have a high threshold for stimulation that leads to risk-taking behaviors. In intimate terms, this emotional numbness translates to a promiscuous, depersonalized and very often sadomasochistic sexuality that does not lend itself well to stable interpersonal relationships. Despite the catastrophic harm nearly sometimes caused by these individuals, their manipulative abilities often place them in society’s most highly respected professions, that is, if they aren’t utter failures due to burned bridges. Many case studies of narcissistic individuals have noted that they frequently end up working as physicians, teachers and priests. The interesting thing about this is that the more functional of a sociopath somebody is, the less likely it is that you will know what they are, since their chameleonlike ability to imitate genuine human emotion is so highly developed.

Relevance of the sociopathic spectrum is important because of the concept of the sociopathic society, which examines the myriad ways that these dysfunctional people have shaped the course of history for millennia. The foreign and domestic policies of the Homeland Security Gestapo are a particularly striking example of this pattern. It is only common sense that programmers wish to deliberately create these personalities as a way to further their own geopolitical strategies, because nobody with a functioning sense of empathy could possibly participate in the predatory business practices that make up the global power structure. These practices sometimes lead to human rights abuses so severe that only a psycopath would obey the orders of their superiors, who typically need an entire militarized state to reinforce their economic policies. Recent studies have discovered that rates of empathy in young people are plumeting, a problem that is compounded by a global militarization which rewards qualities that would be considered abhorrent in a peaceful society.

Yet psychiatry has done little to control the proliferation of these types, relegating to the military industrial complex the problem of reigning in the sociopaths which it itself so frequently creates, thus perpetuating a self-fulfilling cycle of dysfunctional behavior that spreads throughout entire communities. One problem with using the "sociopath" label as a catch all description is that its symptom set often matches those of virtually anyone who has been through significant trauma, particularly as regards to emotional numbness, as well as the personality characteristics of people who are either highly creative or risk-taking in ways that may actually be beneficial for society. A different way of viewing the dilemma is through the lens of homeopathy, which conceives of each personality subtype, of which there are hundreds within the homeopathic literature, as being composed of a wide variety of traits both negative and positive. When one of these subtypes veers towards pathology, the most negative aspects of their personality will be emphasized while the beneficial traits are buried beneath problems like abusive or otherwise dysfunctional behavior. Treatment seeks not to change the underlying personality but to restore those characteristics that are helpful to the greater community. When these problems have been resolved then the practitioner can proceed to treating deeper pathologies, a process likened to peeling back layers of an onion. This picture views people in terms of infinite complexity, changeable personalities instead of the static list of symptoms found in a psychiatric diagnosis. Adopting homeopathic philosophy allows for practitioners to bring help to marginalized members of society without threats, violence or coercion, a practice that could be highly advantageous for those wishing to bring healing to people from the military programming situations that have caused so much harm to the global community.

It may be helpful at this point to explain what exactly is implied by the term programming, which may seem somewhat obscure to those unacquainted with the subject. The way I see it is that there are two distinct, but often overlapping, types that fall under the umbrella of the programming experience. One is the physically induced trauma-based brainwashing that is a lot easier to put into context. Countless mainstream news sources have documented how the MK Ultra program allowed for award-winning psychiatrists, such as Ewen Cameron, to use electroshock, sleep deprivation, forced drugging, lobotomies and other forms of torture to restructure and often completely destroy personalities. Many of Cameron's patients were unable to so much as dress themselves or tie their own shoes after completing psychiatric "treatment". Naomi Klein's ground-breaking book, The Shock Doctrine, explores how the discoveries of Cameron were later codified into The Kubark Manual, which was essentially a CIA authored book on how to torture social dissidents in South American military dictatorships. Insights into personality fragmentation were later employed by military and intelligence agencies to atomize entire societies through media propaganda and other covert techniques.

The other side of what constitutes psychological programming is the much more nebulous spiritual poisoning associated with the occult fraternities who are usually behind the scenes of these military/intelligence funded machinations. Countless researchers have documented how these same members of elite fraternities are placed into the ranks of organizations that are responsible for shaping global policies, such as the Council on Foreign Relations, the Bilderbergs, and the Club of Rome. At this level is where the practice of religious ritual abuse is much more likely to occur. It is necessary to emphasize that abuse in this context extends far beyond anything occurring in a normal setting, and as it is deliberately inflicted on small children it usually permanently instills sociopathic characteristics in developing personalities. When initiates of secret societies engage in these practices, they also form ties with powerful occult entities that are summoned by the society’s rituals. The initiates will absorb the occult beings into their personal sphere, from where they can influence the initiates’ behavior and pass this influence on in turn to their blood kin. In this way the occult entities behind secret societies are able to influence international politics through the bodies and minds of their disciples. It also must be said that only a minority of the occult fraternity membership has been subjected to the most extreme forms of behavioral modification, yet the elite network of those who have holds a disproportionate influence over global politics. This information will seem preposterous to virtually anyone who has not spent time with first hand survivors of trauma-based mind control, yet for those of us who have, the experience will leave an indelible mark on their perception of the world.

On the other end of the spectrum would be milder forms of harassment such as electromagnetic thought insemination which, although far more common than ritual abuse, is sometimes directed at those individuals who pose a direct threat to goals of the global establishment. Other, seemingly random people, such as children of military personnel, are targeted under the guise of developing brainwashing techniques for enemy populations. Global leaders have employed lower level military personnel to participate in psyops of this nature, under the justification of eradicating the "communist threat", a threat that has been replaced by radical Islam in recent years. I suspect that what was employed on me was a "self destruct" program, classified as Omega, a violation that may have contributed to decades of self-destructive behavior including deliberate drug overdoses and years of homelessness. So although some military insiders have attempted to characterize electromagnetic experimentation as harmless tinkering, people like myself who have lived through it will tell a different story. I wouldn't claim as much personal suffering as other, comparatively more damaged subjects from the Monarch Project, however, because my relationship choices, with few notable exceptions, have been supportive people who I don't regret becoming involved with, among other reasons. Those few who stand out as problematic are the ones I've emphasized here, simply because they are the most relevant to the subject matter at hand.

My ex-girlfriend Susan, not someone who I would classify as one of these problems, is far from the only person I know who exhibits symptoms of Montauk programming. After we broke up, I went out with her friend Kelly, a girl whose hair was so pale that she appeared to be nearly albino. I mention this fact because the Aryan bloodlines are very important in the genealogies selected for brainwashing programs due to high dissociative tendencies. Kelly’s family members were cousins of the Cheney family and her mother was a psychiatrist. That particular nuance may be coincidental, but then again it could be relevant since children of psychiatrists are often targeted for programming. Kelly had one of the most depersonalized, dysfunctional sexualities that I have ever seen. And since I have worked as a dominatrix, there has been ample opportunity for comparison! By the age of 15, there were deep self-inflicted wounds on her arms and she was already ordering hardcore S+M catalogs with pictures of “consensual” skin grafting surgeries. Throughout this time period, she was also attending a magical school to train her in the occult arts. Kelly seemed to exhibit an amazing ability to spot and zero in on people’s weaknesses in a manner that was possibly telepathic and definitely sociopathic. At 16, her boyfriend left her with massive, hidden bruises and brought her to orgies. Maybe these types of behaviors could actually be considered normal within specialized subcultures, but at least within the confines of our 2000 plus body high school, my friends and I were taking “edgy” to a level that was definitely not the standard for rebellious teenagers. In many ways, I suspect that Montauk subjects were intended to set a prototype for dysfunction that would be allowed to infect and disrupt the greater society. (Incidentally, it has come to my attention that many who study the subject of military programming consider bisexuality in and of itself to be a result of some kind of nefarious manipulation. While I can't speak for anyone else, it definitely isn't for me and, with the exception of Kelly, the girls I was involved with at that time showed me a great deal of empathy that I wasn't receiving from family or peers. I am certain that I would have turned out to be a far more maladjusted person had I not had those relationships, with the sole exception cited, a fact that I feel needs emphasis on account of right wing elements within conspiracy culture who might like to use my personal history as a way to advance agendas that don't fit the picture.)

Like Susan, Kelly was extremely intelligent and graduated high school early before attending a prestigious university. When I ran into her in San Francisco several years ago, she told me that she was working with an organization that was later reported to have been busted for having members of Hamas at their offices. Hamas is a supposed terrorist organization that is known to have been funded by the CIA during its early stages. Kelly has spoken to me about Palestinians uprisings in a way that glorified violent revolutions while minimizing the reality of civilian murders. Personally, I believe that Zionism is in truth just a convoluted excuse for ethnic cleansing as well as the intended catalyst for a global holocaust aka soul harvest. It is so ironic that Israel has basically placed the entire country of Palestine in a concentration camp. But seeing as how the main face of Palestinian resistance is actually a CIA creation, I suspect that any violent uprisings would be used to further the conflict and create more discord in the area instead of helping an oppressed people to free themselves.

Kelly's participation in recreational blood rituals eventually led me to suspect that her involvement in so-called peace movements may have actually just been fuel for a barely suppressed blood lust. So I feel it is important to share this information, because considering that Kelly may have been involved in military brainwashing of some variety considering her lineage, her relationship with these organizations may indicate a deeper agenda for large numbers of people. History has shown that, while creating a totalitarian regime, it is necessary to support both sides of a conflict in order to justify increasing surveillance and control of the civilian population, as has been demonstrated by the way that 9/11 was used as an excuse to expand the surveillance of civilian populations in the US. Kelly had also been a member of an anti-racist training school where black people would come in and scream at and insult whites until many of them were reduced to tears. Mind control researcher James Bartley has noted that many military abductees are programmed with an irrational and unprovoked fear of Arabs. Could the opposite also be true, that military programmers are also fueling the fires of hatred against whites, and likely other races as well? Considering the current presence of racial holy wars, this kind of programming could be highly advantageous for organizations seeking to profit from the destabilization of our society, whether politically, economically or psychically.

During the time that all this was going on, Kelly was also working as a dominatrix, then later a submissive. She also told me about her sexual fantasies of plantation scenes during the days of slavery. I eventually had to abruptly terminate a visit to her house because Kelly wished to involve me in a lot of dark scenes involving choking and ritualized bloodletting. She said that she was no longer able to get off on normal sex. By then it was really becoming obvious that she had the typical narcissist trait of being seemingly charming and sweet with strangers, yet cold as ice with friends and family. I was kind of disgusted that Kelly would want to practice these extreme activities with me because it is well known in the S&M community that so-called “breath play” is extremely hazardous for anyone, let alone people with a heart condition like myself. One of the little secrets in that scene the fact that there have been a number of people who have died specifically during recreational BDSM choking scenes. Since she was well aware that I have a heart condition, and has done a lot of reading about S&M, particularly the “edge play” varieties, I am pretty much forced to come to the conclusion that she is just sociopathic and that’s the reason behind her indifference.



One of the observations I have gained from talking with Kelly, and other MILABS I have known, is that the split personas resulting from programming can easily translate into S+M roleplaying and a tendency towards dissocation. Unfortunately, these seeming abilities come at the expense of a fully integrated personality. Researcher Fritz Springmeier has noted that a crucial component of the elite Monarch Project is for children to be subjected to sadomasochistic sexual abuse at the hands of adults of both genders. This is not to suggest that the psychic dysfunctions of my friends are the result of the extreme forms of abuse associated with the Monarch Project necessarily. It is my belief, and that of many others, that the extreme types of programming resulting in multiple personality and its concurring amnesiac barriers, are reserved for subjects who will go on to fulfill the most elite roles within society, such as politicians, entertainers or industrialists. There may be some exceptions to this, such as blue collar programmed killers assigned to school shootings or political assassinations. Al Beliek has said that has said that technological capabilities developed during the Montauk Project allowed programmers to turn the project into a more "humane" version of what it had been.

In this case, greater segments of the population could be subject to invasive mental and psychic manipulation. One example of this type of technology would be the type of electromagnetic frequencies emitted by cell phone towers, which can create an electromagnetic blanket over a given area. This area can then be used as a carrier wave for synthetic telepathy type technologies. However, at this current point in time, it seems that intelligence agencies still have a vested interest in microchipping and controlling particular bloodlines. Some people say that this is because their metaphysical abilities give them the potential to more easily shift the course of future events and alter timelines. Although I don’t want to completely discount that possibility, I am a little suspicious of it at the same time because of how easy it is to manipulate someone with flattery. A lot of people who claim to be alien abductees have been told they are ”special” before having their memories erased, so it can be very hard to tell if there is some type of programming going on.

Escaping the Demiurge: part one

Here is the first section of an article in progress about my own experiences in covert miitary brainwashing experiments. There is a lengthy introduction that is intended to familiarize those unacquainted with the subject to the confusing area of mind control research.

Quantum Manipulations by Occult Fraternities: The Montauk Project Phase Two



Of all the conspiracy theories in circulation, probably the strangest are those surrounding the Montauk Project, a US military experiment in thought control and time travel. As the story goes, technologies for the project were originally developed during Wilhelm Reich’s experiments with weather modification. Reich had used a continuous wave oscillator to pulse a signal in order to convert electric energy to etheric energy. One of his discoveries was that a variation of its frequencies could produce dramatic effects, such as modulating brain waves, bringing rainstorms to a dry area or even creating a rift in the fabric of the space-time continuum. When Reich learned that the military intended to apply his findings in covert brainwashing experiments, he tried to shut down the project. Intelligence agencies responded by revoking his license to practice medicine, burning his books and imprisoning him in a Virginia penitentiary where he would eventually die of a remotely induced heart attack.

In 1943, the US military initiated Project Phoenix, an attempt to open a vortex around the USS Eldridge, a naval warship that would then be transported from the Norfolk Navy Yard to the Philadelphia Yard. Their spatial maneuvering would be accomplished by wrapping a Tesla coil around the ship and creating an electromagnetic bubble. The Department of Defense was interested in the findings of the project because of their potential use in stealth technology. Many scientist involved with Project Rainbow were Nazi psychiatrists who had been secretly shipped into the US because of their expertise in behavior modification. In 1944, a freight train filled with American troops was blown up while traveling through a tunnel in France. Inside the train was $10 billion in Nazi gold, which was then funneled into the US and used to finance Project Rainbow. Hen the money ran out, funding for the project was taken over by ITT.

Eventually the USS Eldridge was successfully transported from one port to another. Directors of the project then decided to repeat the experiment with crew members aboard. The results were beyond disastrous. The ship arrived with several crew members partially embedded in its mast. Others were fading in and out of sight. Most of those who survived were either completely insane or brain damaged to the point of retardation. While the USS Eldridge had been traveling through hyperspace, a crew member named Duncan Cameron jumped overboard and landed in US military laboratories of 1983. He was greeted by project director John Von Neumann, who was by now an old man. During Cameron’s absence, military doctors had spent the decades fine tuning the phase modulation of the original wave function discovered by Reich. Project Rainbow had become the Montauk Project, and developments in time travel technologies had advanced in quantum leaps. One of Reich’s discoveries was that when a person is in a pre-orgasmic state, the bioelectric channels within their body open up and the individual becomes unusually receptive to programming. This later phase of the project was powered by a radar unit transmitting at 406 MHz that was then interfaced with a computer. The network was then wired to a chair with a Tesla coil built into its base. When a Montauk subject was placed in the chair and brought nearly to orgasm, scientists would program their subjects with sadomasochistic thoughtforms. These thoughtforms were then amplified to such an extent that they could then take physical form and even cause catastrophic situations for the lab workers. On one of these occasions, the doctor asked his subject to visualize animals from Montauk Point swarming into the nearby town. After the subject performed the request as directed, residents from the nearby town complained to radio stations about wild animals roaming the streets. During another incident, a monster ripped through Cameron’s chest and began destroying lab equipment.

In order to find people for the experiments, Montauk programmers were reduced to grabbing runaways off the street. They were particularly interested in boys around the age of puberty, since that age is a high point of bioelectric potency. Some of the Montauk kids come from the elite Monarch Project, where subjects’ brains were split into a virtual honeycomb of multiple personalities through the use of highly developed trauma-based behavior modification techniques. The intelligence agencies involved in these experiments discovered that the kind of dissociation necessary to survive severe trauma sometimes created near superhuman abilities that are rarely seen in the rest of the population. The Monarch kids who survived these horrific experiments, usually involving both extreme physical torture and sexual/psychological abuse, frequently developed abilities like photographic memory, remote viewing, telekinesis and an abnormally high resistance to pain. These abilities were useful in the development of the kind of advanced martial arts training necessary for creating Manchurian Candidate-like assassins. Other fields of employment for Monarch subjects include elite prostitution and couriers that act as a kind of human computer for data storage. Monarch prostitutes are usually responsible for servicing wealthy politicians, such as attendees of the annual Bohemian Grove retreat. Researchers like Fritz Springmeier believe that many Monarch subjects have also been placed in positions of prominence within our society, mainly for the purpose of creating a sophisticated propaganda machine.

Eventually, Montauk programmers discovered that they were able to send people back and forth in time by establishing a powerful generator as a zero-time reference. Subjects traveled by means of a wormhole curving through space. Even so, there was always the risk of getting lost in time, a fate that was met by a number of Montauk subjects. Additionally, when subjects were successfully transported to a specific point in the future, a closed time loop was created, and that timeline became more closely connected to our own. This temporal manipulation allowed Montauk programmers to control the future to a degree that had never before been possible. What they didn’t realize was that their splinter timeline was never fully formed, and so it became dependant on our own as an energy source.

In one of these alternate realities, a Montauk subject entered another timestream where the allied powers had lost to Germany, who then spread its colonies across the world. North American cities were in shambles as a result of tensions between German imperial powers and local uprisings. The time traveler was forced to take shelter from the gunfire in a German building that was manufacturing streetcleaner type tanks. In another timestream, a Montauk subject named Al Beliek wandered among the ruins of an abandoned city. There he found a young Aryan boy who presented him with the statue of a golden horse. Later he traveled to a utopian world where floating cities were powered by the use of antigravity propulsion devices. Then he was brought to a hospital where nurses treated him for the radiation burns gained through the output of the Montauk radar unit. Another project involved with the Montauk kids is Project Blue Beam, where holographic images of the end times are projected into the sky in the form of deities such as Jesus, Mohammad, Krishna or the Antichrist. During this simulated apocalypse, the survival training of Montauk subjects is brought to the forefront of their personality.`

During one instance, another Montauk subject was followed by silver flying discs as he traveled through the wormhole. Several whistleblowers involved with the project later discovered that Montauk technologies had derived from interdimensional entities operating from outside our dimension. These entities had upgraded military technologies in exchange for the use of US citizens in genetic experiments. The aliens said they had come from a civilization that had been destroyed by nuclear warfare, cloning and genetic engineering. During their civilizations’s decline, the entities had essentially lost the part of themselves that was capable of love and compassion. As a result of this catastrophic loss of life energy, they were locked into a parasitical relationship with the human race, with their only source of sustenance the harvesting of human prana. Some abductees have related visions of spirit-catching nets, which serve to imprison individuals in an endlessly repeated life cycle, with the same mistakes and health problems repeated each time around. Other people believe the typical gray aliens to be biological robots that are controlled by an interdimensional hierarchy of beings. It is certainly true that many abductees have described multidimensional incidents, such as telepathy with aliens, floating through walls in their prescence, or being gone for months and then returned to the same moment in time. Others have described entering small ships whose interior was the size of a football field. Several abductees have also told stories of being vacuumed off the road without other drivers noticing any kind of disturbance. They are also reported to disrupt electrical fields by shutting off any appliances in their vicinity. Physicists involved with the Montauk project have described a process called demolecularization, where molecules are disassembled and then rearranged in another location. Some conspiracy theorists believe that reports of alien abduction are the result of holographic screen memories implanted by human military. There are even a few accounts of gray aliens transforming into military personnel. On the other hand, several abductees have memories of human military transforming into grays! Many different high-ranking military officers have described joint human-alien underground bases linked by a network of high-speed maglev trains. These bases are located in areas believed by ancient cultures to be time/quantum/stargate portals.

Many high-ranking military officials have described the 7-level base in Dulce, New Mexico. According to the description, the first level is used primarily for aircraft maintenance. With each successive layer, security increases until eventually each door requires handprints and retinal scans. One Dulce employee gives the following account “I have seen multi-legged 'humans' that look like half-human/half-octopus. Also reptilian-humans, and furry creatures that have hands like humans and cries like a baby, it mimics human words... also huge mixture of lizard-humans in cages. There are fish, seals, birds and mice that can barely be considered those species. There are several cages (and vats) of winged-humanoids, grotesque bat-like creatures...but 3 1/2 to 7 feet tall. Gargoyle-like beings and Draco-Reptoids.. Level 7 is worse, row after row of thousands of humans and human mixtures in cold storage. Here too are embryo storage vats of humanoids in various stages of development. I frequently encountered humans in cages, usually dazed or drugged, but sometimes they cried and begged for help. We were told they were hopelessly insane, and involved in high risk drug tests to cure insanity.”

Supposedly, alien species communicate by a kind of universal hive mind that is technologically enhanced by what military insiders have termed “synthetic telepathy”. This psychocerebral invasion is accomplished by the use of subdermally placed microchips capable of receiving and transmitting radio wave signals. The radio waves can then project voices and even holographic movie like images. Some of the more ominous uses of the microchip include an ability to produce a change in brain chemistry leading to mental instability, as well as a virtual cornucopia of phyical illnesses such as heart attacks that are induces by manipulating the electrical rhythms of the body. These developments are only now being publicized in the mainstream media as “non-lethal technologies”. By controlling and directing the biolelectrical currents of the body, the science of behavior modification has mastered the harvesting of human prana, which can then serve as an energy source for interdimensional entities.

Western militaries began tracking and experimenting on the families of officers who exhibited any unusual abilities. While studying the genealogy of groups of people, military scientists discovered that particular bloodlines, specifially Celtic, Anglo-Saxon and Native American, had inherited dissociative ablities that better enabled hypnosis and programming. Survivors of these high risk experiments in thought reform call themselves MILABS (military abductees), because of the many similarities between their experiences and those of alien abductees. Both groups report periods of missing time, unexplained scars, occult/paranormal experiences, unusual allergies and abnormally intense personal relationships, possibly as a result of an overabundance of kundalini. The technologically enhanced techniques derived partly from these studies were only a modern improvement on similar occult methods mastered by ancient secret societies and handed down throughout the centuries. Researcher Fritz Springmeier maintains that the ancient Egyptians were adept in the manipulation of multiple personalities. Organizations like the Knights Templar, the Freemasons, the Illuminati and eventually the Nazi Thule society were all directed by individuals with an abnormally high dissociative ability.

The deep trance of dissociation often caused the cult members spirit to leave their physical body, which then provided a vehicle for outside entities to enter and take control of the organization from within our own realm. Books like the Da Vinci Code, as well as its predecessor, Holy Blood, Holy Grail, trace the bloodlines of these cult organizations to European royal families like the Merovignians. Maybe the occult ties of their family can explain why their founder, Meroveus, was said to be the spawn of a union between a human female and a sea monster. Modern mind control researchers believe that the descendents of these elite families, as well as other bloodlines exhibiting occult abilities, have been tracked and programmed by international governments and intelligence agencies. The reason for the focus on Northern European bloodlines is allegedly because of their origins in an ancient civilization. Because of their karmic ties to these bloodlines deriving from a series of intergalactic wars, interdimensional entites are able to manipulate the minds and bodies of Northern Europeans from a remote location.

Of course, it is impossible to know with certainty how many of these accounts are reality, fantasy or disinformation. My own interest in this complicated story comes about from observing how often the descriptions of behavior modification correlate with my own life and those of many of my closest friends and acquaintances. I am particularly interested in the overlap between the accounts of behavior modification and those of alien abduction. Personally, I can’t say that I necessarily believe in the whole alien thing, if by alien one means a physical being that flies to other planets on space ships. I haven’t seen that happen but, at the same, time my own experiences are so unbelievable that I don’t want to pass judgment on others since we are basically in the same boat as far as being considered irrelevant by the vast majority of people. But I can say with certainty that I have had experiences with demonic entities that conform to the alien abduction experience to a certain extent. So I really don’t know what to think about all that. It seems that, upon entering into this field of research, one is hit with layer upon layer of disinformation until eventually fact-finding becomes like searching for the proverbial needle in the haystack. I can, however, state without hesitation that the US military has forcibly performed brainwashing experiments on the families of its officers, since I have experienced this covert project firsthand. For those who are new to the subject of metaphysical conspiracies, I would advise excersising patience while reading this story, since its many disparate elements take time to unify into a coherent picture. I truly hope that this story will prove useful to anyone exploring the field of behavior modification and military abductions.

One of my first impressions of the world was that it was not the true reality. The origin of this world was a synthetic creation of doctors who had projected it into my mind with advanced technologies. I had a deep and unshakeable impression of myself lying on a table surrounded by men in white labcoats. Vivid nightmares plagued my sleep, and I believed that the 3D world of senses could crumble at any time and at the slightest provocation. Of course, as a child, I did not have the word for these ideas, but the impression remained nonetheless.
I was born into a military family in a dusty cowtown in west Texas. My dad had ten siblings, 4 of who eventually enlisted in the military. My Dad went on to become a Navy commander specializing in epidemiology. Gramma was a manic-depressive Christian survivalist who predicted that Western civilization would crumble after the great financial collapse of the 1970s. The family all worked together to build a sprawling house on a bumpy dirt road far outside of town. The remote location was intended to secure a bountiful harvest while avoiding the impending bank closures and food riots. When I was a child, the property was blessed with rows of vegetable crops, a thriving fruit orchard, gold coins, a food dehydrator and a pantry full of home canning supplies. During that time, I was unaware of the towering stacks of canned food built into the walls as a last resort for when swarms of armed and hungry cityfolk pillaged the countryside. Eventually Gramma’s moodswings got to be too much and her husband found refuge in the arms of a man who owned a flowershop in Vallejo California. The two of them performed drag shows in San Francisco and that was the last the family heard of them for awhile. By the time I was about ten years old, nearly all of my aunts and uncles had moved to far ends of the country. Gramma made ends meet by selling velvet paintings and teaching art classes. The last time I visited her, the pantry was stocked with cheap processed foods and the only vegetation to be seen was overgrown grasses and tumbleweeds.
My mother’s side of the family was eerily similar in terms of apocalyptic prophecies. My grandparents believed that the United States military would bring the kingdom of heaven to earth far before this idea became popular in the mass consciousness. Inevitably, the resurrection of Jesus would be preceded by a series of Western political figures who would take one the role of the Antichrist. Secretive, possibly demonic, organizations like the Council on Foreign Relations served as the guiding hand which would place these leaders on top of their throne of power. In the early 80s, my family’s prayer circle correctly predicted that the Bush clan would play a strategic role in the coming global cataclysm of millennial warfare. Although my Gran was a staunch conservative, she voted against George Bush because of his association with conspiratorial organizations that intended to sell the United States, all its assets and its people to a totalitarian One World government. It is interesting to note that this is essentially what happened. The Council on Foreign Relations, as well the Bilderbergs and the Trilateral Commission, have set the policies for neoliberalism and virtually destroyed what was left of local economies and self-sufficient communities.

After learning about the planned collapse of the nation-state, my grandparents boycotted credit cards and vowed to store their money in local banks. They believed that credit was the predecessor of a One World currency that would be pushed upon the American people by the United Nations after our economy collapsed. Eventually this currency would be replaced by an injectable microchip that could store personal information and be used to purchase goods. Granddaddy used his position as owner-editor of the town’s newspaper to publish pamphlets condemning the Rockefeller dynasty’s monopolization of the oil industry and suppression of worker unions. He also insisted on driving a Cadillac, which ended up being a hearse since it was the only Cadillac our family could afford. Granddaddy paraded the entire family around in the glamorous hearse to campaign for Barry Goldwater, who they believed was the only politician who truly advocated for small government.

At home, Gran organized her prayer circle to prepare for the apocalypse. Our closest family friends, the Hiltons, were a cultish clan of biblethumpers with a zeal for local community that approached the fanatical. Their home was stocked with guns, a well, ample amounts of dehydrated foods, gold coins and a ham radio for when the power grid went down. Despite my family’s premature awareness of the evils of globalization, they also possessed an unfortunate belief in a heavenly paradise that could only come to earth by the means of a genocidal holy war. One afternoon, my uncle Will was working on the newspaper when he noticed that my Gran was late for their deadline at the printing press. After several hours, he finally reached her at the Hiltons’ compound, where an emergency payer circle had been called because the US was supposedly on the verge of dismantling their nuclear weapons.

As a child, I was not exposed to this sort of information. That may have had something to do with the fact that my mother went on to major in feminist philosophy, took up anti-war protesting and made a beeline for the quickest exit out of Texas. Granddaddy passed away just as I was learning to speak, and so I was never indoctrinated with millennial fever. I was also completely uneducated as far as conspiracies went. It would be many years before I came to this realm of information on my own. I did, however, develop an obsession with dystopian fantasy worlds that invaded my dreams and nightmares. I watched Mad Max; the Thunderdome in a state of reverence and visualized myself stumbling through the desert without water. At my preschool, the teacher had to comfort a group of frightened children because I had convinced them that Darth Vader was organizing an army in the storm tunnels beneath the playground.

Shortly before we moved to Chicago, I had my first metaphysical experience around the age of five or six. While playing in the living room, my thoughts were overtaken by an electronic voice that projected itself into my head. Its volume was so great that it seemed to vibrate my entire being in the most unpleasant manner. It clearly told me “Your mother does not love you.” I later discovered the account of another psychotronic mind control survivor who was told this exact same phrase as part of his programming. It is apparent that the agenda here is to alienate the targeted individual, and possibly to predispose them to the narcissistic/sociopathic disorders that are found so often amongst people who did not experience a proper upbringing. Fortunately, I had the sense not to mention the incident to anyone since I believed that no one would be able to help, and more likely, they would actually cause a great deal of problems instead. Now I wonder where this internal guidance came from, since if I had told my mother about “hearing voices”, I would have invariably been labeled as schizophrenic and forcibly drugged with brain-damaging medication that would have left me a drooling and retarded vegetable. But luckily no one noticed I was having problems and I was placed into all of the gifted programs at my school. For the most part, my childhood passed by without incident, although I was put into therapy because of an overwhelming fear of doctors and a serious problem with nightmares.

When I was eight, my Dad joined the military as an officer and I went to go visit him at the Jacksonville Naval Airforce Base in Florida. While I was there, I experienced my second paranormal incident during a make-believe game with another military brat in the courtyard of the Bachelor Officers Quarters. Ward and I both had vivid imaginations and so we would pretend that the abandoned conference room was actually the inside of the sinking Titanic. After water busted through all the windows and began pooling along the floors, we would frantically sprint outside and into the courtyard. During one of these narrow escapes, I completely lost all normal sense of consciousness. My field of vision was blanketed by a wall of static that sounded like a thousand TVs turned up to top volume all at once. When I emerged from my trance, Ward and I were still standing in the courtyard but a good deal of time had passed. He told me I had been screaming “I can’t see” over and over again. Several years ago, I learned from a popular conspiracy website that personnel from the Jacksonville Naval Airforce base had been practicing electromagnetic mind control techniques on the children of officers during the time that I was there. Apparently the perception of fields of static energy is a common factor among military and alien abductees.

Another interesting thing that was going on then was that I had begun walking around and conducting conversations in my sleep. My parents told me that I would wander into their bedroom at night and make cryptic statements, like “I can’t find it.” I had no memory of these conversations in the morning. Another occult mind control subject I have been corresponding with informed me that talking in one’s sleep is apparently one of the symptoms of programming. She had the same thing happen to her in college, when her roommate informed her she had been talking extensively while in an unconscious state. Springmeier has mentioned that one of the traits useful in programming is the ability to use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously. That actually seems very similar to the physiological process that occurs during sleepwalking. When most people sleep, their left hemisphere ceases to be active, but in sleepwalkers it remains fully functional. So maybe the simultaneously functioning hemispheres thing was what was occurring during these incidents.